In a small apartment in central Delhi, Shreyas, 27, and his wife Ayushi, 25, scrolled through profiles on their phone—not of restaurants or vacation rentals, but of other couples and singles nearby. They were using 3Fun, a dating app designed for threesomes and open relationships.
"We've been together for six years, but got married recently," Shreyas says. "We watched porn together and wondered what it would be like to try out some of those fantasies."
Ayushi is bisexual; Shreyas is straight. They describe themselves as committed to each other, not polyamorous, but curious and cautious.
The couple represents a small but growing demographic of urban Indians turning to specialised dating apps to explore desires that remain deeply taboo in mainstream Indian society. Platforms like Feeld, 3Fun, Gleeden, Ashley Madison, and #Open are quietly gaining users, offering features not found on Tinder or Bumble: paired couple profiles, explicit kink preferences, and options for ethical non-monogamy.
But these apps, which promise users discretion in a country where family honour and community standing carry enormous weight, are riddled with security vulnerabilities. Multiple data breaches, inadequate verification systems, and a pattern of prioritising growth over user safety have left people exposed to extortion, stalking, and worse.
For many users, the question isn't just whether they'll find what they're looking for, it's whether they'll be safe trying.
A Surge Of Curiosity
India is one of the fastest-growing markets for dating apps globally. According to Statista, roughly 20 million Indians used dating apps five years ago; that number surged by nearly 300% in 2023. Within that expansion, a quieter boom has been unfolding in the alternative dating apps.
Gleeden, an extramarital dating app, reports about 3 million users in India, compared to 13 million worldwide. The company's 2025 survey found that 17% of its Indian users are from Bengaluru, followed by 16% in Delhi and 14% in Pune. Since the pandemic, the platform has seen a spike in users from smaller cities including Jaipur, Bhubaneswar, Lucknow, Nagpur, Surat, and Bhopal.
The same survey found that 43% of respondents believe humans aren't wired for monogamy, and 61% think society pressures people to remain monogamous.
A global survey conducted by Ashley Madison and YouGov between 2024 and 2025 found that 53% of Indian respondents admitted to infidelity—the highest rate among the 11 countries surveyed. The report identified Kanchipuram, Tamil Nadu, as a surprising non-monogamy hotspot.
"India is leading the way in redefining modern relationships," Paul Keable, Chief Strategy Officer at Ashley Madison, said in a statement. "India is already ranked sixth among our global markets, and we anticipate it climbing even higher by the end of the year."
A Feeld spokesperson confirmed to Decode that the app had seen 100% year-on-year growth in India, though the company declined to provide specific user numbers.
The Fragile Safety
These platforms promise relative anonymity: face blurring, incognito modes, and privacy settings that hide profiles from Facebook friends. On Feeld, couples can pair profiles and label the relationship openly so prospective partners know boundaries. For many users, that’s the only feasible way to explore desires that Indian society still stigmatises.
Shreyas and Ayushi have blurred their faces on their 3Fun profile photo. A selfie that shows them embracing, but their faces remain obscured. Other profiles feature only silhouettes or faces concealed with emojis. Most bios carry warnings about discretion.
Yet the veneer of digital safety is disturbingly thin.
In 2019, cybersecurity firm Pen Test Partners discovered that data of all 3Fun’s 1.5 million users was leaked, including precise location data — a finding TechCrunch later reported when researchers were able to spoof user locations and access sensitive information like birthdates. Pen Test Partners called 3Fun’s security “probably the worst” they had seen for a dating app.
Ashley Madison suffered a catastrophic data breach in 2015 that exposed members’ private information and credit card details.
In March 2024, British cybersecurity firm Fortbridge reported multiple security vulnerabilities in Feeld that could have allowed attackers to read private messages, access attachments (including explicit images), edit profiles, and recover deleted content. Feeld said it had fixed the issues within two months but did not notify users, claiming there was no evidence of data exfiltration.
When contacted by Decode, spokespersons of these platforms did not respond to the questions about the security vulnerabilities.
For users who fear exposure, these breaches aren't abstract threats.
“I don’t share my real name anywhere. On my Feeld account, you won’t find pictures of my face,” says Noor, 25, who uses the app with her partner.
“Being assigned female at birth, I feel more vulnerable to creepy and inappropriate behaviour on apps, so I have to be mindful who I engage with.” Noor and her partner prefer paired profiles so potential matches clearly understand boundaries and expectations.
Since the breach, 3Fun has publicised several rounds of security upgrades, including upgraded encryption for sensitive data, presigned URLs to restrict unauthorized photo access, and features like 'Incognito Mode' and 'Block Contacts' for user privacy control. But concerns persist about whether these measures are sufficient given the sensitivity of the data and the cultural context in India.
When Curiosity Meets Predation
Beyond data leaks, dating apps in India have become vectors for scams and violence.
“I was stalked for a while by someone I connected with on Hinge,” Noor recalls. “That incident really made me think about safety while dating online. I am hyper-aware on apps like Feeld,” she says.
Although cautious, Noor is constantly struggling to weed out the ‘incels’ and ‘fake profiles’ that show interest in her on the app.
In August, police busted a gang in Kerala that extorted lakhs of rupees from users on Grindr. In March, the Delhi Police arrested a gang that entrapped people through fake accounts on Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, Happn and Aisle, later extorting them. Similar scams have been reported across India.
Decode has earlier reported on Grindr, a gay dating app, where sextortion crimes remain common, leaving victims in the lurch.
Noor reported her stalker to Hinge but never received a response. She now carefully controls what information about her real life appears on dating apps.
An investigation by the Pulitzer Center, The Markup, The Guardian, and The 19th News found that Match Group—owner of Tinder and Hinge—has known about users reported for sexual assault since at least 2016 but failed to prevent perpetrators from returning to their platforms.
The investigation documented the case of Denver cardiologist Stephen Matthews, who continued using Match Group apps despite multiple sexual assault reports, eventually assaulting at least 15 women before his arrest.
Despite promises to improve safety and publish transparency reports, the investigation found that Match Group focused on growth and profits while reducing safety teams. Alleged predators could rejoin using the same personal information, highlighting industry-wide failures to protect users.
For users on alternative dating apps, where the stakes of exposure are even higher, the absence of robust verification creates a paradox: the tools meant to confirm someone's identity also threaten to expose users in a society where their choices could have severe consequences.
Verification tools typically use facial data and personal information like email and phone numbers. Feeld offers verification for users with full face photos. While this can reduce fake profiles, it increases privacy risks by requiring more personal information—precisely what many users are trying to protect.
Most verification, therefore, falls to users themselves.
"We try to verify partners with video calls and in-person meetups in public before we let them into our private space," Shreyas says. "But the anxiety and uncertainty remain. What if someone tries to harm us? A lot of these relationships are built from carefully crafted trust that takes time and intention."
If users don't verify potential partners themselves, there's effectively no way to seek help from law enforcement, police, or the apps if they need to report misconduct or abuse.
Ritika, 21, describes the predatory messages she's received on Feeld: "It's always weird and off-putting, and I instantly block and report them." When she moved from Kochi to Delhi, she found more matches, and more complicated verification routines.
"I verify via video calls, social media, voice notes. That helps, but it's exhausting,” she says.
Neel, a 28-year-old lawyer based in Goa, says, “I usually match with other tourists. This includes polyamorous couples, couples exploring threesomes and visiting with their partners. I suppose they find Goa more liberal than other parts of India to explore their desires.”
For the last few months, Need has been noticing a rise in AI-generated profiles and deepfakes on these apps, asking for money.
While specific statistics on dating app scams in India aren't readily available, individual cases paint a troubling picture. A 21-year-old from Delhi lost 2 lakh in a sextortion scam in October. In June this year, a 70-year-old man from Hyderabad lost 39 lakhs to a sextortion scam. In another incident, a man was scammed into paying 50,000 rupees for food and drink at a cafe in Delhi after his Tinder date took him there. According to government data, Indians lost 22,845.73 crores in 2024 to cyber fraud, a 206% surge from 2023.
The Cost of Secrecy
Most of these apps have taken a subtle approach to their Indian market entry, relying primarily on word-of-mouth within specific communities rather than broad marketing campaigns – unlike their traditional competitors like Hinge, Tinder and Bumble. This under-the-radar approach helps them avoid controversy while gradually building user communities.
Legally, these apps live in a grey zone. Adultery was decriminalised in India in 2018, which allowed platforms that facilitate extramarital dating to operate more openly. Yet there are few app-specific protections: offences like obscenity or child sexual abuse material still apply, but there’s no tailored framework that mandates safety protocols or incident transparency for dating platforms.
“Apps like these fall under the same legal framework as social media platforms — broadly similar rules apply, but there’s no dedicated legislation for dating apps,” says Sanjana Srikumar, an advocate with Part Three. “Community guidelines are crucial, but they’re not a substitute for stronger regulation.”
In August 2024, the Madras High Court told police to write to the government considering “appropriate action” against Grindr, saying it was being used for illegal activities. The court’s comments reflected wider anxieties: how to balance sexual freedom, privacy, and public safety in a legally unprepared environment.
For many users, the legal shadow is less immediately worrying than the social one. The dread of being outed — to family, employers, or neighbours — shapes how people use these platforms. “We never meet anyone in our neighborhood,” says Shreyas. “We book a place in other parts of Delhi NCR, away from the scrutiny of family members, neighbours and acquaintances.”
Users have developed elaborate rituals to stay safe: swapping voice notes, insisting on video calls, checking social media footprints, and preferring meetings in neutral ground — hotels or short-term rentals far from home. Some users rely on Reddit and local “gone wild” communities to find partners because they feel those spaces are more moderated or have clearer community norms.
Noor and her partner, a queer polyamorous couple, found Feeld more accommodating than traditional dating apps. "We've been together for two years, and instantly knew we wanted to be polyamorous when we started dating," says Noor, who works in the development sector.
Feeld allows users to pair profiles with multiple partners using different relationship labels visible to everyone. "We wanted to give people a clear idea of what they're getting into," Noor says. "We've had a great time connecting with other queer people, but it isn't unusual to get the occasional creepy text."
We've tried out Feeld in multiple cities in India, so we're used to instantly blocking and deleting the creeps."
The gender imbalance on these platforms compounds danger. Women often report being overwhelmed by messages and fetishisation; men report difficulty finding female or female-presenting partners. That imbalance can fuel unsafe dynamics, such as pressure to meet in dangerous circumstances, unmoderated group encounters, or encounters where consent boundaries are tested.
The Paradox Of A Revolution
Aastha Chaudhary, a Delhi-based psychotherapist, says, “While stigma serves as a significant barrier to identity exploration, having the space, albeit in secret, to navigate relational experiences with like-minded people can be incredibly reparative.”
“In the face of absolute societal rejection, queering desire can carry its own weight, and in deeply patriarchal societies, active persecution,” Chaudhary, who uses a queer and trauma-affirmative approach in their work.
But the psychological toll of constant vigilance is real.
"It was exciting to explore my sexuality as a bisexual woman married to a man," Ayushi says. "But you know, it's extremely hard to trust people these days."
"I heard about a case where someone was murdered after a threesome after meeting through an app. Now I don't know if this is real news, but we are scared."
"I don't think people have patience and energy to develop bonds and connections anymore," she adds. "So we are hesitant to meet new people on apps and now reach out to our old connections once in a while."
The growing presence of alternative dating apps in India signals a significant shift in how urban populations understand intimacy and relationships. But without comprehensive data protection laws, adequate regulatory oversight, or platform accountability, these spaces, meant to offer liberation, instead compound vulnerability, particularly for queer users and others exploring non-traditional relationships in a deeply conservative society where exposure can carry devastating consequences.
Gleeden's survey showed that 35% of respondents confirmed they are in open relationships, 26% are considering it, and 41% would agree to it if their partner proposed it. These numbers suggest that alternative relationship structures may be less fringe than many assume.
"The existence of such spaces itself challenges the dominant script surrounding desire and love," Chaudhary says. "Historically, digital spaces have been harnessed by marginalised people to resist and organise against invisibility, challenging traditional conceptualisations of love, kinship, and family."
But resistance shouldn't require accepting preventable harm.
"These apps collect so much of our data, there has to be a way they can make it a safer experience for everyone without worrying about potential harm," Noor says. "We want to feel safe meeting people."
"I want a better verification system on these apps because there are way too many fake accounts asking for money," Neel adds. "I think it can discourage people from pursuing real connections."
For now, in apartments across Delhi, Mumbai, and Bengaluru, people like Shreyas and Ayushi continue scrolling, weighing desire against danger, hoping they won't become the next cautionary tale.
This story has been edited by Adrija Bose
